After I published my book, Diary of Fatherhood (Series One), someone asked me why I didn’t include my wife’s stories in it. Well, I responded by with, “if I did, then it would no longer be a fatherhood but, a parenting journal.” That is not to minimize the influence of Sweetheart on our joint parenting adventure or even on my fatherhood journey. If anything, she probably has more stories to share than I do because she spends more time with our children than I do. I just deliberately choose to tell my stories from a father’s perspective, although the insights that I share are applicable to both parents.

So, why did I say all that? I said all that to give a background to the story that I’m about to share. It’s Sweetheart’s story. I’m not directly involved in it, but I come in to help Sweetheart see a refreshing perspective, after the fact.

Recently, Agbenu completed a Girl Scouts project and was required to turn in her report. Her troop leaders intended to compile her report along with those of her troop members into a combined presentation slides. Rather than turn in just her report, she created a presentation with animations, background music, and other visual effects, then gave it to Sweetheart for submission.

Upon receipt of Agbenu’s presentation, her troop leaders called Sweetheart and overwhelmed her with an appreciation for such a beautiful presentation. According to Sweetheart, the leaders said, they have adopted “her” slide presentation as the framework for the troop’s overall presentation, and that she made it all easy for them.

Sweetheart said she was smiling and acknowledging their feedback but before she could respond, Agbenu appeared on the scene and said:

“Mom, please I want to take the credit for my work. Please tell them that I did it.”

So, Sweetheart relayed Agbenu’s message to her troop leaders, who were pleasantly tickled. After enjoying the humor with Agbenu’s troop leaders, Sweetheart allowed them to appreciate her directly. They then took turns and praised Agbenu, who I was told exuded elation.

When I got home, Sweetheart was exuberant and told me about the encounter.

Sweetheart: “It was so cute and I couldn’t wait to share it with you.”

Me: “Yes, that was adorable! I’m glad that you saw it that way and didn’t feel disrespected.”

Sweetheart: “No. We enjoyed it and really had a good laugh.”

Me: “Good. But beyond the humor, isn’t that what we pray for, for our children? We want them to be assertive and speak up for themselves. I am thrilled by her confidence. Isn’t that what Girl Scouts is also equipping her for? Do you remember her green Girl Scouts confidence t-shirt?”

Sweetheart: “Oh, yeah! We were busy enjoying the humor and I didn’t even think about it from this perspective. Thank you!”

Me: “Sure! Mama!” (I called Agbenu)

From the game room:

Agbenu: “Coming, daddy!”

Me: “Mom, just told me about how you spoke up and demanded to take the credit for your Girl Scouts project. I am so proud of you for saying so. That’s what we want for you. If you are confident in speaking up for yourself with me and mom, then you can do so with anybody. Don’t let anyone take what belongs to you without speaking out, or let anyone talk you down. Come here, let me give you a hug!”

She beamed with a smile as we hugged.

Agbenu: “Thank you, daddy.”

Me: “Sure!”

Then she hugged Sweetheart

Agbenu: “Thank you, mommy.”

Sweetheart: “You’re welcome, my dear.”

Me: “Can you go and wear your Girl Scouts confidence t-shirt, and come let me take a picture of you in it, real quick?”

Still beaming, she ran up to her room and returned shortly, wearing the t-shirt. It reads:

I AM

Me: “Yeah, that’s what you are! Never forget that!”

Agbenu: “Thanks, daddy. I won’t.”

We hugged again and she went happily away.

It is important that we stay watchful with our children so that when they display the necessary life attitudes and skills, we would affirm them so that they can be encouraged to continue with them. That was my role in this episode. I came behind Sweetheart, who was actively involved in the project to inject a fresh perspective.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 

2 Timothy 1:7