Every time I drive with my children, I anticipate an engaging discussion. This afternoon we were driving to my brother’s house for a crawfish boil party when Ofu broke the ice with the question:

“Dad, is God an angel?”

Me: “No, God’s not an angel. He made the angels. God is too big to be described.”

Where did that come from? How do I begin to tackle this one? What is the most age-appropriate answer to his question? I wondered in quick succession. I didn’t know how to answer but I had to say something.

I wasn’t convinced that I satisfied his curiosity, so as I made efforts to elaborate, Oche noticing that I was struggling, interjected:

“God is God!”

Me: “Exactly, Oche. Thank you for that.”

It was such a relief and a guide to the explanation I needed.

Me: “Ofu, angels are God’s messengers, they run errands for God. Ok?”

Ofu: “Ok.”

Me: “So what made you ask?”

Ofu: “Nothing, I just want to know.”

Hmm… He chooses when to be a man of few words and I know to respect that. No further direct probing can make him volunteer any information at such times, hence the need for a different approach.

Me: “So God sends angels to be nice to people, to protect people, to help the people in need, to save people… And guess what? Anybody who does these things for other people can be an angel.”

Ofu: “Really? Like superheroes?”

Me: “Exactly. Superheroes are special angels, and you, me, mama, Oche, mom and anybody else can be an angel to someone when we are nice and help them but we are not God. Right?”

Ofu: “Right.”

Me: “So do you now see that God is not an angel?”

Ofu: “Yeah.”

Me: “Do you know what?”

Ofu: “What?”

Me: “I think God is so happy that you asked that question because it shows that you want to know who God is. Right?

Ofu: “Yeah.”

Me: “He knows how to explain Himself to you, and He will. Continue to ask to know Him. I know that He is whatever we want Him to be. He heals the sick, He provides for us, He helps us in our needs, He protects us…He becomes just whatever we need Him to be.

Ofu: “Everything?”

Me: “Yes, that’s how big He is, and He does everything through people, His angels. Got it?”

Ofu: “Yeah.”

Me: “Great! Oche thanks for helping us with the answer.”

Oche: “You’re welcome.”

Agbenu: “Dad, are you going to write a story about it?”

Me: “I will, you just read my mind.”

Agbenu: “It will make a good story.”

Me: “I’m sure it will. Thank you, my dear, and you were such a good listener.”

Agbenu: “You’re welcome.”

Folks and that was the story. With us, there are no useless questions. Even when I don’t have an answer or a direct one, there is always a valuable lesson to be learned if I can gently persist in dialogue. Deep down Ofu’s innocent question, “Dad, is God an angel?” lies his quest for spirituality. I think that’s a quest which we mortals can never answer completely. However, I believe this discussion has satisfied his search to some extent.

My struggle to provide him with an answer led Oche to declare with absoluteness, “God is God!” His confidence in his definition of God was so reassuring, so much that adding anything to it will just be preaching to the choir. Although we could have explored the “how” of God it may not have addressed Ofu’s question. So for now, I simply listened, ran with it, and that helped us to engage in the discussion.

Although fully present on this occasion, Agbenu knew her rightful place, the place of listening. It suggests to me that she’s aware that listening is polite and equally important in communication. She listened actively as evidenced by her suggestion for me to write this post.

My roles are to continue to: be present, provide safety, listen intentionally and engage them in dialogue.

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you'”

Exodus 3:13-14.

• 3/31/19.