(Laughing)

Yeah, you may be wondering where that came from or what it could be all about. I’ll tell you.

We grew up (by we, I mean my contemporaries) with the understanding that the optimal way to structure our day is the 8-hour workday, typically beginning in the morning (like 7 am – 3 pm, 8 am – 4 pm and 9 am – 5 pm). That was the typical work schedule for our parents, and I believe school schedules were also derived from that.

The concept of careers with the option of more than one shift wasn’t popular, at least to me. But now I believe that across all careers and industrial sectors, work schedules are or can be operated in shifts: morning, afternoon and night shifts, especially with the advent of 24-hour services. So, people now have the freedom of applying for jobs with the option of preferred shifts. I’ve heard colleagues say, “I’m not a morning person so I can’t work morning shifts.”

So, what has 8-hour 7 to 3, 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 workday got to do with my fatherhood? You may be asking. I’ll tell you.

Ofu, my second son has a challenge waking up in the morning. It is such a daunting task to wake him up and get him ready in the mornings. We are constantly trying out new schemes, one of which is to play his favorite songs as his wake up alarm. That’s a system I figured out when Mandisa’s “Good Morning” became my daughter, Agbenu’s most favorite song. I began to wake her up by playing it from my phone to my Bluetooth speaker. It works, and she finds it very pleasant, so I decided to try it with Ofu.

Ofu’s favorite song in a long time during ordinary times is Jordan Feliz’s “The River,” and during Christmas season it’s Chuck Berry’s “Run Run Rudolph.” We always listen to Run Run Rudolph even after Christmas way into the new year. So I use these two songs alternately and occasionally, other songs to wake him from sleep. Surprisingly, it has been effective!

One morning, I asked him: “Pappy, so why is it so hard for you to wake up in the mornings?”

Ofu: “Dad, I’m just not a morning person.”

My mind’s eyes popped out in surprise but I maintained my calm.

Me: “That’s nice to know. How did you figure it out?”

Ofu: “I don’t know, that’s just who I am.”

Yeah! That’s my strong-willed child. At this point, I knew that probing would not yield results, so I let go for now. However, I was impressed by his self-awareness and assertiveness in expressing it. It shows he has no self-denial and he’s aware that he’s not obliged to be apologetic about how he is wired to operate.

Me: “I’m happy that you know that. I think we should work on going to bed earlier on school days, so you can sleep longer and then wake much easier in the morning? Can we do that?”

Ofu: “Yes.” (He replied drably and unconvincingly)

I wondered where he heard that expression from, ‘I’m not a morning person.’ Anyway, that was the lead to my reflection on the 8-hour workday.

To further help his morning alertness and readiness, I introduced teeth brushing competition as a part of our morning routines. This triggers an adrenaline rush, which in turn drives him to want to win me, which then gets him fully awake and going!

This was how I introduced it. The idea just popped in my brain one morning as I wondered how to get him going. So far, the music alarm helps to wake him up more easily but when we get to the bathroom, we get stuck in a lag. So on that day, I got our toothbrushes ready and said:

“Let’s see who is going to be the first to finish brushing his teeth, but wait I have to count down first: 10 – 9 – 8 – 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – 0, blast off!!!”🚀🚀 The first day, it worked like magic! It was unbelievable the speed with which he became fully alert and went on to complete his grooming.

The combination of a wake-up music alarm and teeth brushing competition, preceded by a count down has proven to be effective. The result has been a very drastic improvement in waking up and getting on with morning routines.

Sometimes I tweak the count down by singing it like it was sung back in our days on Sesame Street TV program… Does anybody remember that one? I’ll go:

🎶”10 – 9 – 8 – 7 – 6 – 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1..”🎶

He’ll let me reach halfway, and interrupt me:

“No, no, no, no, no… not that one. Do it the normal way.”

Me: “Ok. I’ll pretend to be counting down then I’ll pause and say I mean (sing) “10 – 9 – 8 …”

Then he’ll interrupt me again with a smile, indicating that he is enjoying the gimmick. Finally, I’ll say the count down and we’ll brush and everything else will follow naturally.

So, what made me write this post happened today. I woke up this morning, our morning routine didn’t occur to me, so I brushed my teeth in my bathroom before going to wake Ofu up. Then I realized that I had already brushed my teeth but had to repeat it for obvious reasons. In the end, my teeth were so crisp and clean that they shocked me. That got me thinking more deeply about our morning routine, which led me to write this post.

Besides, assisting Ofu to get prepared, our morning bathroom routines have become a major bonding time for us. It was during these times that I taught him male hygiene practices. I taught him that boys and men should dab after urination to prevent stinking underwear as a result of dribbling, a practice Sweetheart jest as “petting.” Yes, I’d rather pet than stink. He also learned that boys should raise the toilet seat before urination and place if back after (at home and private settings). This is to avoid the mess of accidents usually associated with males. To drive it home, I told him we don’t want to live a mess for mom and Agbenu to sit on. Urinals are available in public restrooms, so touching the toilet lid does not arise. Of course, performing hand washing was the number one given.

Perhaps, the cutest one was how he cleaned up after doing a “number 2.” I taught him to wipe from front to back, however, he understood it to mean passing his hand from the front backward under his genitals to wipe his back. Sweetheart had a hard time correcting Ofu because he insisted:

“Dad said that we clean from the front to the back.” So I had to retrain him again before he got it right.

For Ofu, once dad says it and he buys into it then it’s a closed case until revisited by dad.

(Pause)

“Dad, I’m just not a morning person.” So we count down from 10 to zero and blast off!

(Sigh of relief)

My understanding of good parenting is that it is exhausting but I won’t exchange it for anything!

• 1/15/19