Recently, someone asked me if my daughter’s got me wrapped around her little finger.

In pretense, I smiled and replied: “I don’t know what you mean.”

In response, they clarified with “does your daughter get everything she wants?”

I smiled again and said, “Nope! But she sure knows how to ask for what she wants.” And that’s my emphasis!

This how she usually goes about her requests:

“Dad, I know we don’t have to, but please can we or can I…?” Meanwhile, her body language will simultaneously exude a combination of boldness, trust, humility, love, and friendliness all at once. She smiles charmingly. She makes eye contact. She folds her hands as a gesture of request. She bows down to communicate respect. She paces which communicates eagerness to me. Then finally, she sits beside me and quietly awaits my response.

Her requests are usually not extraordinary and she doesn’t always get a “yes” to her requests. Sometimes, it’s a “no” or “not now” with an explanation and she doesn’t get dramatically disappointed. She accepts my disapproval in a manner that communicates her trust in my judgment for the best interest. However, as she begins her requests with “Dad, I know we don’t have to…” I’m thinking “why we have to.”

For instance, she requested for a laptop last Christmas, which she didn’t get. I explained to her that although I know she’d use it accordingly, it wasn’t an immediate need and that she would get one this year. She understood but continues to remind me occasionally in non-pestering manners. During the summer she gently upgraded her request a touchscreen laptop. I thanked her for her patience and told her that although I’m yet to grant her initial request, I encouraged her to pray to God for it and to keep asking me and that I won’t be tired of listening to her. I assured her that it’s coming. It’s coming!

The lesson that I’m learning from her is the best attitude towards praying. Although her original request is still pending, she believes it will be granted at the right time with a better version.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Mark 11: 24.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7: 7-8.

Here’s another instance from when she was four years old, precisely on 7/3/14 (see why I named my blog a diary?):

She wanted a second drink of yogurt and said to Sweetheart, “mom, I’m still thirsty, I know I can drink water but my brain is telling me to drink more yogurt.” That was cute! Of course, she earned another drink for asking so smartly. It reminded me that sometimes how a message is communicated is equally as important as the content of the message in achieving its purpose.

I once heard a public speaker say that women are endowed with the gift of divine manipulation (I don’t remember who it was but I’m searching). I understood it as the speakers rhetoric in describing the unique and powerful influence that women have on men (l enjoyed the humor, and I hope that whoever this may concern will too). I subscribe to that thinking and I think it should be celebrated when it is used to a positive effect. It also has a devastating impact when abused. Examples abound in either situation.

So having recognized this gift of persuasive asking in my daughter, I assume the following roles:

1. Be the safe man for her to hone her skills
2. Appropriately express it for her tangible awareness
3. Groom her to become a woman and leader of strong positive influence.

Just last weekend, she successfully held a lemonade stand in partnership with her friend to raise money for school supplies to support less privileged students. And that’s what I’m talking about! Therefore, to my friend who asked if my daughter gets everything she wants, again I say “nope, but she knows how to ask, and it has produced good results thus far!”

• 8/25/19