“At your age, you should be able to do… (fill in the blank).” “By now, you should know how to do… (fill in the blank). “You should have attained this or that level of success.” Have you ever been told any of the above or said any of those to someone, including your children? I don’t know about you, but I have been caught in both traps. Now, is it right for someone to be held accountable for a performance…
Recently, we took a pest control measure in our home. Before then, we had to turn off our central heater to shut off the gas supply per instructions due to fire hazards. After the exercise, I lit up the heater again but at a lower temperature than the previous one because the weather has warmed up. Therefore, we don’t need as much hot water. This morning I heard Ofu fusing in the bathroom, so I checked on him. Me: “What’s…
Ofu and I were in the discussing breakfast. We came to similar options; he wanted pancakes with eggs while I wanted toast with eggs. As we gathered our ingredients, Agbenu joined us; we exchanged greetings, and she asked what we were having for breakfast. I told her that Ofu and I had already made our choice. Agbenu: “Oh, I was planning to make breakfast tacos for all of us. I’ll ask John if wants it.” She returned from the game…
So, when your child tells you that they have a problem, what is your first natural response? If I’m correct, it is to swoop on the problem and help them fix it. Right? Well, recently, I was caught up in the same mindset. John is the president of a youth club, where he commands the respect of members and adult leaders. He told me about an ongoing communications challenge that his club was facing and how they have been handling…
This one is about one of the many times that I blew a parenting opportunity. So, I hope you will extend some grace to me. Once again, it involves Ofu, my strong-willed child. He left his plate and cup on the dining table after lunch to go and play on his device. When I noticed them, I said, “Ofu, can you clean up after yourself and put away your plate and cup?” He just flared up and threw a fit….
I picked up Agbenu from school after she stayed back for drama rehearsals. She was not looking so upbeat. We greeted each other after she got into the car. Then I said, “you look more tired than usual. Are you hungry?” Agbenu: “Yes, but I’m a little upset.” Me: “What happened?” Agbenu: “Some students haven’t been following the rules at rehearsals. They are not a part of the theater team. They are students who go home on the late bus,…
I am a member of the Kolbe Prison Ministries and had scheduled to visit our brothers in prison on Saturday, August 14, 2021. I committed to it in July. As our children prepared to resume school in Fall for the new school year, we also started receiving their calendar of activities. The first parent empowerment forum for John’s school was also scheduled for the same day as my prison visit. I was in a dilemma, but thank God for His…
While driving from John’s scouting activity to the barbershop, he said: “Dad, I have a question.” Me: “Go on.” John: “I have asked mom this question before, but she’s not been able to answer it to make me understand. Why are we not allowed to sleep over in our friends’ houses?” Me: “There are several reasons. First of all, that’s not how we were raised, and I’m not saying that it is wrong. When we were children, we only slept…
It’s one of those dragging mornings again with Ofu, my self-declared “not-a-morning-person” son. And yes, Sweetheart and I have had several burnouts with him. Ofu prefers to share bathrooms with us instead of with his siblings. So, his towel and toiletries are in our bathroom. When he woke this morning, he went into our bathroom, stayed there for a while, then left and went to the game room and started playing on his device. I was already awake and even…
“I didn’t grow up having that kind of relationship with my father.” “Every lady wants to be complimented.” The first of the above was a lady’s response to what I thought should have been an endearing moment between a father and his daughter. Immediately, I perceived a relationship gap! The second was another lady’s remark after receiving a compliment. To me, that highlighted the need for affirmation. Hopefully, I wasn’t being stereotypical, but as a reflective learner, statements like those…