This morning, Agbenu woke up and came to our bedroom to say good morning. After we exchanged greetings and hugs, she sat at the foot of our bed with a dejected demeanor.

Me: “Are you ok, mama?”

Agbenu: “I had a bad dream.”

Me: “Ok, tell me about it.”

Agbenu: “I know this is not true because it’s only a dream, but it scared me. So, we were somewhere, and I can’t really describe the place. God was there and He had this very beautiful altar. Me, Ofu and mom were admiring the flowers on the altar then Ofu started acting mad. So, God got angry and broke the altar then the side Ofu was standing on and half of the altar went down with Ofu into the h-world. Although I prayed about it when I woke up, it really scared me.”

By this time, tears had welled up in her eyes. I drew close, hugged her and wiped off the tears from her eyes with my fingers.

Me: “I know, that was a scary dream but it’s just a dream like you said. Ok?”

She nodded in agreement.

Me: “I think the lesson from it as that God is showing you something to pray about for Ofu. I think He’s saying keep praying for Ofu to act right when he’s angry, so things don’t get out control. We all have to keep praying for him. I think that’s what God showed you in the dream.”

Sweetheart: “Yes.”

Me: “The other thing is that God bursts the devil’s plans when we have those scary dreams. You know, like when you plan to give somebody a pleasant surprise, what do you do?”

Agbenu: “Keep it secret.”

Me: “Exactly, we keep our surprise quiet until the right time. So, if someone should expose your surprise, will you be happy?”

Agbenu: “No.”

Me: “Will it still go according to your plan?”

Agbenu: “No.”

Me: “Good. See, that’s how the devil always plans for us, but he doesn’t give us a pleasant surprise. He plans are evil because he is our enemy. So, when you have a scary dream like this, and you wake and pray to God about it as you did, that’s God bursting devil’s plan.

Agbenu: “Wait. So did God give me the bad dream or did the devil?”

Me: “No, God does not give us bad dreams. He reveals or lets us see what the devil plans. Then we can run to God in prayer, it’s like telling on the devil. That way the devil can’t surprise you anymore. See what I mean?”

Agbenu: “Mm-hmm.”

Me: “And guess what?”

Agbenu: “What?”

Me: “Not everyone can see the devil’s plans. God reveals the devil’s plan to only those who stay connected with Him. So that makes you special. Imagine if you didn’t know who the bad guy is or what they plan for you and you walk into them?”

Agbenu: “That will be dangerous.”

Me: “Good. So, doesn’t God love us by bursting the devil’s plans by showing them to us in our dreams?”

Agbenu: “He does.”

Me: “That makes you special. God loves you and God loves Ofu, and God loves us all. He will protect us and take care of us.”

Agbenu: (With a sigh of relief) “That feels so much better. Thank you, daddy.”

Me: “You’re welcome, mama. I love you. You’re such a wonderful daughter and sister to have.”

Agbenu: “I love you too dad.”

Me: “Now, it’s time to prepare for church. Go and get ready.”

Agbenu: “Mm-hmm.”

As she walked out of our bedroom, I walked into our bathroom where Sweetheart was fixing her hair and listening to the discussion.

Sweetheart: “She probably had a flashback of Ofu’s behavior just before bedtime last night.”

Details spared. That’s an ongoing challenge that accompanies a VERY strong-willed child.

Now let me tell you a little story…

My mom’s elder sister, Aunt Onyikwu, is extremely fond of me, and she’s my most favorite aunt. She’s my go-to aunt, outside Mama. She gave me a nickname, which Mama also adopted. She calls me “Ikpep’oklobia” which means “young dude.”

When we had our first child, Oche, Aunt Onyikwu looked at me fondly and with all the love in her heart said, “young dude, my son, if I could, I’ll teach you how to become a parent but no one can teach it to you. God only, is the one who can teach you, I want you to trust Him and hold on to Him, and He’ll be with you on your parenting journey.” That was straight from her heart ❤ and I’ve held on to it since then.

It resonated so much this morning, as I helped my daughter to analyze the mystery of “bad dreams.” My explanation may not be the most accurate available but it’s sufficient for my daughter.

There’s something I’ve told my father and remind him of frequently. I also share the message with the seniors who have mentored me, some of whom now refer to me as their friend. This is it: “You’re still alive because God still has a purpose for you, even when you feel incapacitated by the aging process. You are a pool of wisdom and experience, just ask God to send you someone daily to tap from them. That’s why you’re still here.”

I’m so grateful for the gifts of wisdom and experience that comes with the parenting package. I’m even more grateful to be able to activate mine and tap into them. So God, please continue to help me. Amen! 🙏

• 5/5/19