Sweetheart and Ofu are at his scout meeting. I’m baking chicken. Agbenu is playing Amazon Song Quiz. Oche is studying for his math benchmark test scheduled for tomorrow.

Oche comes down from his room to the kitchen and goes into the pantry. He asks Agbenu:

“Mama, do you want noodles for dinner? I’m about to make some for myself.”

Agbenu: “No, thanks. I had an early dinner. I can make it for you so you can keep studying for your test.”

Oche: “Oh ok, thanks.”

As he was about to return to his room, I said:

“Great job, guys! Oche, you offered to cook for mama but she offered to cook for you instead so you can spend more time studying for your test. That was so good. Continue to help each other. That’s what families do.”

Oche and Agbenu: “Thanks, dad.”

My heart was filled with extreme joy to see how much they have grown and trying to outdo each other with acts of kindness.

My children particularly like how I cook noodles and since they’ve started cooking, they are applying my techniques to prepare their noodles.

Agbenu: “Can I add a little bit of ‘slap ya mama’ seasoning?” She was smiling mischievously knowing that I’ll say no.

Me: “No, mama. We don’t want our taste buds to become used to excess salt, and that’s not healthy.”

Agbenu: “I know… Ok.”

Me: “The seasoning in the pack is enough except powdered onion which I add plenty and powdered pepper. That’s all I use and that’s what gives my noodles it’s flavor.”

I then went ahead to talk her through my sequence.

Agbenu: “Yes, this will work! I know just how Oche likes his noodles and this is it!”

Me: “That’s why we call you mama. You just take care of everybody.”

Agbenu: “Mmhmm.”

And yes, she does take care of everyone! Sweetheart has now passed the buck of baking our banana bread to Agbenu, and she flew with it! She bakes excellent banana bread and even calls me to ask how I like it if I’m at work or away from home.

I’m just treasuring the experience of my children, now standing shoulder to shoulder with me in the kitchen and cooking. This is spending quality time together! Having quality time together with loved ones should be more in the basic everyday activities not just in the occasional special activities.

Again, their disposition to serving each other just gladdens my heart. Oche offered to cook for Agbenu first, but Agbenu ended up cooking for him instead so he can spend more time studying! This puts on a display, our family values of servant leadership.

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

Mark 9: 35.

Moreover, when I observe my children display a virtue, I run with it. I open it up and let them bask in it through my compliment and encouragement, so they can continue with it.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4: 8.

That’s my desire for my children and those that I am called to be a father figure to.

• 2/25/20