Ok, it wasn’t I who said that originally. Please stick with me and you’ll discover how I found it relevant to be used as the title of this post.

I had just settled down to watch “An Interview With God” on Netflix. It caught my attention last night after identifying a different movie to watch before bedtime. So I was really looking forward to seeing it. We had agreed that today will be no hand-held device day. Sweetheart had gone in for a siesta. The kids were upstairs playing and laughing, they sure found some innovative ways of having fun, just like we used to our days when there was no abundance of toys.

As soon as I settled into watching, Ofu limped to me in the game room to complain of pain in his right foot (he sustained an injury 2 days ago for which he was seen in the ER). So I gave him some pain medicine, after which he got on the computer in the game room with me. Then, I turned up the TV volume a little more to mask the sound of his activity on the computer.

Just when it seemed everyone was nicely minding their own, Ofu called out:

“Dad, I want some tortilla.”

Me: “Please, can I have some tortilla?”

Ofu: “Please, can I have some tortilla?”

Me: “Good!”

Oh! How I wish that I’m just watching my movie, undisturbed, I thought. “Get up, and do it. It’s your cross.” 😊

I went to the kitchen and while I was fixing Ofu’s tortillas, Oche came to me and asked:

“Dad, do you know the meaning of ‘hypocrism’?”

Me: “No. I haven’t heard that word before. Is it like pretending to be what you’re not?”

Oche: “No, it’s not. You know… like hypocrisy or hypocrite…”

Me: “Oh ok, tell me more.” (Pretending to be ignorant, so he can drive the discussion.)

Oche: “Ok. It’s basically someone who tells you to do one thing but goes off to do something else.”

Me: “Ok, that’s neat! so what’s going on?”

Oche: “I just witnessed one but I won’t talk about it now, I’ll tell you later.”

Me: “Ok.” (I smiled 😊 and pondered where this is coming from and where it’s going – to be explored)

Once Ofu’s tortilla was made, I called out to him to come and get it. I was holding the plate, he came, grabbed the plate and tried to make a U-turn without an acknowledgment. I held on tightly to the plate and my face transformed from a relaxed into a stern expression. He looked back at me with surprise. I looked into his eyes, then at the plate and back into his eyes. He understood and said:

“Thank you.”

I nodded, smiled and said, “that’s my boy!”

Off, he went to munch!

Then I went back, reclined and continued watching my movie. Soon afterward, he came back and said:

“Dad, please I want some more.”

I encouraged myself up, and snapped out of murmuring “when will this end?” To the kitchen, I went again and fixed him extra tortillas. Again, I called out to him to come and get it. He came quickly.

Ofu: “Thanks, dad.”

Me: “You’re welcome.”😊

This time as he walked away I smiled longer than the first time and sighed relief as a sense of fulfillment overtook me. Now, I don’t think I should be finding my self-worth, even as a parent, in my child’s positive behaviors, however, it felt so good to experience his transformation. The whole episode carried opportunities for emphasizing and learning the simple courtesies of “please” and “thank you.” For me, it came at the price of some self-exhaustion. Yes, I find parenting to be exhausting and plan-altering.

It was at this point that I recalled a recent conversation with a friend who landed a very plum job in a choice organization. He told me that during his interview he was asked, among others, what his biggest achievement was, to which he answered: “being a parent.”

He said he appreciated his parents more, now that he’s a parent, citing their sacrifices in raising him and his siblings who outnumber his children. In spite of their larger number, his parents’ ability to instill strong moral values and provide for their needs continue to amaze him, a feat he now finds very challenging with fewer children.

I told him that, that might have been the striker more than paper credentials, after all, other applicants may have possessed equal or better paper qualifications. However, his reply indicated that he is a person who can easily align his values to the values of the organization and subsequently drive forward the mission of the organization.

So, as I finally settled down to watch my movie after all the interruptions I thought to myself that if I were to be asked right now: “what is your biggest achievement?” I’d reply: “being a parent.” It is a tough job, but extremely rewarding!

However:

So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.

Zechariah 4: 6.

…And by extension, I’m constantly reminded by the angel.

• 4/14/19